Could you really go on with life if your reason for living was suddenly snatched out of your fingertips? The question isn't would you want to go on... it's would you be able to?When I read the first part of New Moon I felt as though I had been punched in the gut... all of Bella's heartache, the crippling emptiness she felt was right there inside me as well. I actually had to close the book and take some time to grieve. (It only lasted about an hour as that's as long as I could stand to stay away). But it got me thinking... how unbelievably brave she was to go on with life. I know she wasn't truly out there, living it to its fullest, but she did make the decision to go on. Bella wasn't expecting things to change, she had no way of knowing what her future held (as we who were reading hoped we knew) but she showed up for life each day, each breath was a battle won, each morning a new day, simply to be fought again.
When life comes and throws the unthinkable at us, do we give up? If we knew what was in store for us we probably would, but the not-knowing is always manageable. We can't always prepare for the worst imaginable loss, but we get through it. Coming out the other end is the gift. What would have happened to Bella if she'd simply thrown in the towel? We certainly wouldn't have Eclipse and Breaking Dawn on our bookshelves.
Bella has taught us how to live, ironically. She took the worst blow in the very first pages of New Moon, wrapped herself up tightly so as not to fall apart, and went on... day by day, minute by minute. Real-life can offer the same amazing rewards that our heroine reaped. We too can choose to live another day and see what life has in store for us. I'm sure most will be pleasantly surprised by what we can really live through, and it all becomes clear what we're really living for.
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2 comments:
Yes, I could survive. However, I'm not sure I'm fully living. Due to less than wonderful life circumstances I don't know that I ever allow anyone that close ... I don't allow the possiblity for that sort of heart shattering instances. I could never count on one person to be that one. Eventhough I'm married and I love my husband, I can't permit that sort of risk again. Sad, but I guess it's just one of those things that some people encounter.
I think that's part of the draw that these books have for me. I love seeing and am inspired by the love Edward and Bella share. I know that I don't have that only because I withhold from my side of my marriage, but maybe someday I'll allow that. Who knows. I also believe that's why I loved New Moon so much ... I could understand her pain and in a sense felt a bit relieved to "hear" someone understand my own.
Wow ... that got a bit deeper than I'm used to but oh well.
That's really why the Twilight Saga has such a draw for me, too. It has forced some feelings and thoughts out of me I didn't have before. The book's circumstances are certainly not real-life, but the emotions and relationships are grounded in human experience... if only we allow ourselves to participate in those experiences.
You've written about how hard it is to fully open up and put your heart on the line. I'd bet most people feel that way. It sounds like Bella and Edward's love has been an inspiration for you and that's exactly why I write some of this stuff... we can all relate on some level. It's not just vampires and werewolves.
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